He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
