yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
