shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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