He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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