do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
