im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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