I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
