Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
