i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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