And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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