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Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he thought i was a dude.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
