jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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