Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
