shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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