So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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