so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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