So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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