i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
