i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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