the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
