Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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