She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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