If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
