Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
