It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
