I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
