just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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