i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
