can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
