I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
