when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
