Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is wine microwaveable?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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