Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
