It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
