dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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