im drinking this country out of the recession.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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