at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
