Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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