Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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