my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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