Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
