My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
