this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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