OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
