ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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