i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
