remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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