That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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