So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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