WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We need to get me chipped asap
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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