before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
