so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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