I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
