Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Buhtt sex?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
