I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
