No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize