Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
