I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
