i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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