it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
