We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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