I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
