Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
