i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
