Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
