We're facebook friends in real life
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize